If you’re reading this, you’re probably either in a relationship that you’d really like to make successful, or you’re just starting to get involved with someone and you want to know what to do, as the relationship grows, to help make it strong. The main thing to be aware of is that one person cannot make a relationship work – it needs the effort and commitment of both. Relationships can’t grow with the effort of just one partner – when that’s the situation, count on seeing the relationship dissolve shortly. Don’t forget – it takes two to tango! If you want to build a strong relationship that can endure difficulties, the following pointers will help you to build a strong foundation.
It’s a simple concept but sometimes hard to live up to – in dealing with your partner, you must be honest and open about everything between you. People in a relationship share their innermost thoughts and feelings with each other, but how can you do that if your partner lies and cannot be trusted? Lying to your partner gets complicated – you’ve must keep the particulars straight in your head about what truths you’ve shared, and what lies you’ve told. If you tell her, for instance, that you like a certain author because you know she likes him, and then she hears you tell someone else you cannot stand that author, she’s going to be hurt and frustrated that you lied. The things you tell each other unveil yourselves to each other and draw you closer together, but if some of those things are lies, they stand between you, they get in the way of coming closer together.
Someone who lies lacks integrity, but it goes deeper – integrity has to do with matching your words to your actions as well. Thus, you show that you’ve got a problem with integrity when you break promises or don’t live up to other commitments. Your integrity is reflected in your actions every day, and how those actions match your words. Don’t think that just attending to the major commitments you make will make people think you’ve got integrity. If you display poor integrity in minor issues, sooner or later you’re going to jeopardize the relationship because she’s going to wonder if you can be trusted with something as important as her heart. If you want her to trust you with her heart, you’ve got to prove you’re worthy of that trust. You do that by always behaving with integrity. As time goes by, you will inevitably grow closer and more intimate.
Part of the “work” of making a relationship thrive is paying attention to your partner even when you’d rather be doing something else. Men expect their women to listen to them when they’re talking. Why, then, is it so hard for men to give their women the same respect? When she’s talking to you, pay attention! Communicating is a quiet activity – listen to her patiently and carefully, and if needed comfort her.
If your objective is to win on those (hopefully rare) occasions when you fight, rather than to settle the differences you’re experiencing, you’re going to damage your relationship. What’s more important – winning the argument or strengthening your relationship? Proving you’re better, or understanding her perspective and why she’s upset? If you concentrate on solving the problem instead of victory at all costs, the relationship will strengthen and grow.
And here’s a bonus pointer – never let her forget how beautiful she is, how wonderfully she treats you, and how much you love her. You do this merely by opening your mouth and telling her so. If you haven’t yet told her today that you love her, go find her right now – or call her – and tell her! Make sure she is loved always and she’ll never want to leave!
If you found this article helpful and would like to learn more ways to improve your relationship, check out How to Make a Relationship Work and Save Your Relationship.